Isang alalay: Boss Eddie Gil, bakit magkaiba ang
medyas mo? Isang green,isang red.
Eddie Gil: Ewan ko nga kung saan ito nabili ni
Misis. May isang pares pa ako na ganito sa bahay.
Eddie Gil Makes a Wish
Eddie Gil shows a map of the Philippines to a
genie and wishes that all the islands be
connected by fly-overs
Genie: I'm not that good. Make another wish!
Eddie Gil: Okay. Make me intelligent!
Genie: Can i see the map again?
Eddie Gil calling a hotel receptionist.
Eddie Gil: Paano ako makakalabas dito sa kuwarto
ko?
Receptionist: Bakit po sir, ano pong problema sa
mga pinto?
Eddie Gil: Dalawa lang ang pinto. Ang isa pag
bukas ko banyo. 'Yung isa naman may nakasabit
na "do not disturb" .
Medical Exam
Eddie Gil is appearing for his University final
examination. He takes his seat in the
examination hall, stares at the question paper
for five minutes, and then in a fit of
inspiration takes his shoes off and throws them
out of the window. He then removes his shirt and
throws it away as well. His pants, socks and
watch follow suit. The nurse, alarmed,approaches
him and asks what is going on "Miss, I am only
following the instructions, " he says, " it says
here, "Answer the following questions in brief'."
Elevator
Eddie Villanueva: Sorry I'm late! brownout! na
stuck sa elevator for 1 hr
Eddie Gil: Wala yan ako 3 hrs sa escalator
Six or Eight
Eddie Gil calls into a take-out pizza parlor.
Pizza man: Would you like your pizza sliced into
six or eight?
Eddie Gil: Six, I don't think I could eat eight.
Ballerina
While watching a ballerina tip toeing on stage,
Eddie Gil commented- "Ang tanga naman ng
direktor! Bakit hindi na lang sya kumuha ng
matangkad?!"
In a coffee shop:
Eddie Gil: 1 coffee please
Waiter: Decaf, sir?
Eddie Gil: Of course! Debaso is too big and too
much for me!
Pizzeria
While in a pizzeria.
Eddie Gil : What are your specialties?
Waiter : Sir, we serve all kinds of pizza.
Eddie Gil : Talaga, bigyan mo nga ako ng
Shakey's!!
Science Class
In a science class.
Classmate : Bakit yung airplane pag umiikot ang
elisi, uma-angat sa lupa? Bakit yung bentilador
kahit umiikot, nasa mesa pa din?
Eddie Gil : Tanga ka pala eh! Kasi yung
bentilador may kurdon!
There was a magic mirror that ate liars.
An ugly person stood in front of it and said: I
think I'm CUTE! - kinain siya.
Then, a fat person stood in front of it and
said: I think I'm SEXY! - kinain siya.
Then, Eddie Gil stood in front of it and said: I
think.. - kinain na.
