Eddie Gil Jokes

I browsed through my old yahoo emails and found this one very funny. Hahaha! Enjoy!


Isang alalay: Boss Eddie Gil, bakit magkaiba ang
medyas mo? Isang green,isang red.
Eddie Gil: Ewan ko nga kung saan ito nabili ni
Misis. May isang pares pa ako na ganito sa bahay.

Eddie Gil Makes a Wish
Eddie Gil shows a map of the Philippines to a
genie and wishes that all the islands be
connected by fly-overs
Genie: I'm not that good. Make another wish!
Eddie Gil: Okay. Make me intelligent!
Genie: Can i see the map again?

Eddie Gil calling a hotel receptionist.
Eddie Gil: Paano ako makakalabas dito sa kuwarto
ko?
Receptionist: Bakit po sir, ano pong problema sa
mga pinto?
Eddie Gil: Dalawa lang ang pinto. Ang isa pag
bukas ko banyo. 'Yung isa naman may nakasabit
na "do not disturb" .

Medical Exam
Eddie Gil is appearing for his University final
examination. He takes his seat in the
examination hall, stares at the question paper
for five minutes, and then in a fit of
inspiration takes his shoes off and throws them
out of the window. He then removes his shirt and
throws it away as well. His pants, socks and
watch follow suit. The nurse, alarmed,approaches
him and asks what is going on "Miss, I am only
following the instructions, " he says, " it says
here, "Answer the following questions in brief'."

Elevator
Eddie Villanueva: Sorry I'm late! brownout! na
stuck sa elevator for 1 hr
Eddie Gil: Wala yan ako 3 hrs sa escalator

Six or Eight
Eddie Gil calls into a take-out pizza parlor.
Pizza man: Would you like your pizza sliced into
six or eight?
Eddie Gil: Six, I don't think I could eat eight.

Ballerina
While watching a ballerina tip toeing on stage,
Eddie Gil commented- "Ang tanga naman ng
direktor! Bakit hindi na lang sya kumuha ng
matangkad?!"

In a coffee shop:
Eddie Gil: 1 coffee please
Waiter: Decaf, sir?
Eddie Gil: Of course! Debaso is too big and too
much for me!

Pizzeria
While in a pizzeria.
Eddie Gil : What are your specialties?
Waiter : Sir, we serve all kinds of pizza.
Eddie Gil : Talaga, bigyan mo nga ako ng
Shakey's!!

Science Class
In a science class.
Classmate : Bakit yung airplane pag umiikot ang
elisi, uma-angat sa lupa? Bakit yung bentilador
kahit umiikot, nasa mesa pa din?
Eddie Gil : Tanga ka pala eh! Kasi yung
bentilador may kurdon!

There was a magic mirror that ate liars.
An ugly person stood in front of it and said: I
think I'm CUTE! - kinain siya.
Then, a fat person stood in front of it and
said: I think I'm SEXY! - kinain siya.
Then, Eddie Gil stood in front of it and said: I
think.. - kinain na.

Glutonny Day!

I've had my rest days last Thursday and Friday...and in those two days, wala akong ginawa kundi magfood trip. Haay...I really feel sluggish. Kain, internet, tulog, nood dvd lang ang routine for those two days and what's worse, just a while ago...sumama ako kay Jojo sa Munoz to accompany him mamalengke and grabe, hindi ko na napigilan ang sarili ko sa kakakain. Bawat kanto atang me binebentang kung pagkain binilhan ko eh. huhuhu. I cant help it - kailangan ko talaga ng comfort food!


I asked Jojo if he could buy me kahit 4 sachet of milo lang. We eliminated Milo or any chocolate drink sa grocery list namin kasi nagdidiet ako so decaf coffee lang meron sa bahay. Akala nyo titimplahin ko sya? No. Papapakin ko lang. Weird noh, pero I feel happy pag ganun ginagawa ko. Reminds me of my childhood kasi namamapak ako ng milo nun with my nieces.



Joo bought me 6 pcs of Donuts. Sobrang nagcracrave ako for donuts lately and take note...gusto ko lang strawberry field.

I also bought this siomai nung napadaan kami sa bandang waltermart. Hay, I can't stop myself.
Muntik narin akong bumili ng pizza sa katabing stall buti nalang di pa sila bukas. It's only 10:00 am that time.


And we had a hearty meal of porkchop and take note sa dami ng sawsawan ko. Kamatis, Gravy and Toyo with calamansi. Sobrang abnormal ng craving ko these past few days. Nagpabili pa ako ng coke para kumpleto ang kainan. Sa sobrang takaw ko, nagkamay pa ako. Yesterday, I even asked Jojo to buy ice cream. Ganadong ganado talaga akong kumain nung day off ko. Naiinis ako sa sarili ko kasi diet ako ng diet and then babawiin ko rin lahat ng nalose ko sa restday ko. Hmp, ang sarap kasing kumain eh. sigh.

Funny

BlankTop 10 Reasons Why There Couldn't Be a

Filipino-American US President:


By David Letterman

10. The White House is not big enough for in-laws
and extended relatives.

9. There are not enough parking spaces at the White
House for 2 Honda Civics, 2 Toyota Land Cruisers, 3 Toyota
Corollas, a Mercedes Benz, a BMW and an MPV (My Pinoy Van).

8. Dignitaries generally are intimidated by eating
with their fingers at State dinners.

7. There are too many dining rooms in the White
House - where will they put the picture of the Last Supper?

6. The White House walls are not big enough to
hold a pair of giant wooden spoon and fork

5. Secret Service staff won't respond to 'psst...psst' or
'hoy?.hoy?hoy? '

4. Secret Service staff will not be comfortable
driving the presidential car with a Holy Rosary
hanging on the rear view mirror,
or the statue of the Santo Nino on the dashboard.

3. No budget allocation to purchase a Karaoke
music-machine for every room in the White House.

2. State dinners do not allow 'Take Home'.

AND THE NUMBER 1 REASON WHY THERE COULDN'T BE A
FILIPINO-AMERICAN U.S.PRESIDENT IS...

1. Air Force One does not allow overweight
( packages ) Balikbayan boxes!

Mali Maling Lyrics

--"i decided long ago, never to walk
with edu manzano..."

---"so kiss me and smaffle me..."

---"it started when we were younger you
were nine..."

---"my only nest is killing me..."

---"don't go jason waterfalls..."

---"constantine you're on my my mind..."

and finally..

---"nothing's gonna change my love for
you, you know naman my love how much i
love you..."

- hmmm bakit parang nakakarelate akoh?! haha

Tumambling ako sa Kakatawa Grabeh!

I remember receiving this email from Shai twice but only on the second time was i able to open it...just seing a subject on the email "fw: friendster kuno: TAWA MUNA!" doesnt catch my attention. Sometimes I had this tendency to just delete forwarded messages and open those mail na usually me personal message...but then finally when i happen to clean up my inbox and was about to delete some stuff...nakita ko siya and inopen ko...and eto hanggang ngayon di ako makarecover...here it is...enjoy! :))

FRIENDSTER KUNO

Katawa Grabe!